K-dramas are no strangers to the found family trope. From Hospital Playlist — where five doctor friends grow together through career and life changes, both inside and outside of the hospital — to Reply 1988 — where five families living in the same neighborhood go through life together — these K-dramas have been applauded for their comforting relationships.
This fall, another K-drama joined this (non-exhaustive) list. Based on a Chinese drama called Go Ahead, JTBC’s latest drama, Family By Choice (or “Avengers Siblings” in Korean), follows a family of five who was formed by unconventional means. Viewers first meet the core characters — Yoon Ju-won (Jung Chae-yeon), Kim San-ha (Hwang In-yoep), and Kang Hae-jun (Bae Hyeon-seong) — when they are young kids. Feisty and curious Ju-won, complete with two high pigtails on the side of her head, can’t wait to finally have an oppa when San-ha and his parents (Choi Moo-sung, Kim Hye-eun) move into the apartment above Ju-won and her dad’s (Choi Won-young).
*This review contains minor spoilers for Family By Choice.
When Ju-won makes a comment full of childlike glee about a family of two living on the second floor and a family of three on the third floor to her new neighbors, San-ha’s mother snaps. It is here, in the first episode, when we discover the weight San-ha and his parents carry: his younger sister has recently passed away. And San-ha’s mom blames him.
Then comes Kang Hae-joon and his mom (Baek Eun-hye), who is a single parent like Ju-won’s dad. Smiley and good-natured, Hae-joon joins the tight duo — much to Ju-won’s chagrin — after the nosey yet kind neighbor auntie (Sung Byun-sook) sets up a blind date between Hae-joon’s mom and Ju-won’s dad. Over the course of a very short time, the families (minus San-ha’s parents) share meals; the kids play together; and they stand up for one another in the face of judgmental comments about their family situations.
Ju-won, San-ha, and Hae-joon (along with Mr. Yoon and, later, Mr. Kim) are there for each other when Ju-won feels sad about not having a mom. When San-ha’s mom verbally and emotionally abuses him, lashing out at him through her thick grief. When Hae-joon’s mom promises to come back for him after she takes care of an urgent matter in Seoul, but years have passed and she still has not returned. Not only does Family By Choice tell a story of found family, but it also handles childhood trauma with gentleness and grace.
Whether the characters experienced the death of a family member or experienced being abandoned by a family member, these points of trauma follow you through your life. From your teenage years to well into your adult years, the ripple effects never quite subside unless you actively and intentionally find a way to start healing those wounds.
In Family By Choice, the childhood trauma trope often found in K-dramas does not feel sensationalized, nor does it feel like it is in this story solely for the plot. Instead, it is all there in Episode 1: Ju-won’s single father, her desire for an oppa, and her wariness of abandonment; San-ha’s mom, her depression, and leaving her first family behind; and Hae-joon’s mom also leaving although her love for her son radiates through the screen.
Still, there are always people who stay. The core lesson the characters learn throughout the series that family is more than those who share your last name. (In the first episode, Ju-won gives an impassioned argument to change their legal last names.) Over the course of the 16 episodes, they understand you can build the family and the support systems you want in your life. There are friends like Park Dal (Seo Ji-hye) and community like the neighborhood auntie who make it their business to stay by your side no matter what.
Family sees you, hears you, cares for you — whether you are at your best or at your worst. They actively want to know about your wins and your hard times. The latter, revealing that they are going through a low moment, is something that Ju-won, Hae-joon, and San-ha all struggle to understand.
While these sentiments are heartwarming and lofty goals to portray on screen, Family By Choice ensures these messages come across through the small details. Despite releasing at the end of the year, this is what makes the drama stand out in a year full of heavy hitters like Queen of Tears, Love Next Door, and Lovely Runner. Family By Choice starts small and stays small. From young Ju-won and her dad eating together to the numbers around their simple table growing for breakfast and dinner, sharing meals and being nourished both physically and emotionally is a main thread.
There is small sticking point though: one 10-year time jump and San-ha and Ju-won begin a blossoming romance. While she was insistent on being siblings when they were in high school, it is clear that the tune has changed now that they are around 30 years old. But then again, 10 years — with little to no contact with each other — is a long time. In addition, Ju-won and San-ha make it quite clear they are “chosen family.” Viewers equally understand that the two are not blood-related, considering San-ha’s dad is the fifth member of their found family.
It also helps that the drama itself addresses this potential sticking point through others’ reactions, including Ju-won’s initial one. Hae-joon, for example, is adamant against the relationship when he unexpectedly finds out the two people he sees as his siblings are dating. Family By Choice also spotlights Mr. Yoon’s dilemma over the two kids he raised being in a relationship. As he noted to San-ha, firmly but with a hint of sadness, he can no longer take San-ha’s side.
Without the strong interpersonal relationships, Family By Choice would not be the shining drama that it is. Whether it is the five family members discussing their days over dinner, Mr. Kim and Mr. Yoon talking about being parents, or the main trio sharing vulnerable moments with each other, the relationship dynamic may shift, but the unbreakable bond is always there.
If San-ha is upset, Ju-won talks to him — and the others trust she can get through to him. If Hae-joon is upset, San-ha talks with him — and, yet again, the others trust San-ha can get through to his slightly older brother. Their honest and vulnerable conversations, often stemming from their respective childhood traumas, can tug a tear from even the most unshakeable K-drama watcher.
Family By Choice shows how love and family are active verbs and always conscious choices — again and again.
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